The Letter of a pedophile

Dear jasmine,
My dearest wife, my most faithful companion, by the time these letters reach your hands I would be in a very remote place. Hopefully I would not be able to see you from here, although some people believe I could. I don’t want to see how much pain and disappointment my words would bring to you but then again that would be (well deserved) God’s worse punishment. I know you most be crying for me right now; please don’t, I’m unworthy of your tears. I don’t deserve you Jasmine, I never did. I’ve always loved you and I would love you even after I’m dead. I never meant to hurt you or those I so much love.
Jasmine last night when you left to work, the kids, and I stood up watching movies and eating popcorn. It was two in the morning when I sent them to bed. I went upstairs, took a shower, put on my pajamas, and lay on the bed. Flipping through the channels a movie scene caught my eyes. It was a man who got hired as a social worker at a summer camp. All the kids at the camp love him and trusted him. He was recognized and respected by all his coworker for his ability to work with troubled kids. The man in the movie name was John __like me. John was fighting with these flashback he was having of him as a kid being molested by a man who happened to be his father. He was 32 yrs old, no kids, never married and his house was looking like a kid’s dream…games and toys everywhere. One day John was home and he had the flashback but instead of his father this time it was him molesting one of the little girls in the camp. This time he didn’t fight it he engaged himself in these thoughts.

The next morning at camp John was looking at the kids differently. When he saw the little girl playing jumping rope, her little chest bouncing as she jumped in her little summer shorts. He became aroused and he watched the little girl play rope like a man would watch a woman play with herself. Seduced by his thoughts I, pulled my pajamas down, I took my dick out and started stroking it. Suddenly I hear someone scream, then I hear someone yell “daddy, daddy” turned on by the screaming and the yelling I stoked my dick faster. When I heard some steps getting closer I turned off the TV, pulled up my pajamas and jumped up the bed. It was her… my little girl… scared to death. She had a nightmare. “Daddy can I sleep with you till mommy come.” She asked in a very sweet tone. I said baby of course. “Please Daddy, I’m scare don’t turn off the light”__ she replied. We laid on the bed, father and daughter just getting some rest. I closed my eyes and the movie scene came up on my head the man caressing the little girl and her giving him head. I looked at her, so innocent, so pure, and sleeping. I caressed her face with my index; she turned and as she turned her little butt rubbed against my hard dick. I was so turned on by her innocence; I started caressing her back going down her butt. I think she woke up then but chocked by what was going on…played it off. She turned around facing me with her eyes close, (She looks so much like you) I kissed her lips, and at that moment it was the sweetest lips my lips have ever touched. She opened her eyes and looked at me filled with disgust. She was quivering, so scare, so inoffensive. I… still turned on by her purity pushed myself on her. I pressed my lips on hers, trying to put my tongue in her mouth as I held her with one hands and caressed her with the other. “Please daddy stop, daddy what’s wrong stop” she cried. My animal instinct took over me and I ignore her plead. But then I felt her warn tears on my face and I stopped. I looked at her right in the eyes, I saw the hate; the reflection of my black soul. I held her against my chest and begged her to please forgive me but she wouldn’t speak. I intended to look in her eyes again but she put her head down and it broke my heart in thousand pieces because I realize I’ve lost my soul in her eyes. I got off the bed, went down stairs, took my gun and placed it on the computer desk. I sat down and wrote you this letter.

Baby I… like John had flashback of a man touching me in places I shouldn’t been touched when I was only 7 yrs old. I had these thoughts of a man putting his dick in my mouth. And even worse… putting it in a part of my body a boy nor should a man be touch. This man was my father. He didn’t only do it once, for 8 yrs. I went through this abuse. I… like John fought against my flashbacks my whole life but last night I left my guards down; I didn’t fight it!

I don’t even know if Junior heard anything that was going on; he never came to the room. Please tell him I love him very much and I truly believe one day he is going to be a great basketball player. Please tell my little girl daddy is sorry and I have no words that could explain or justify my actions. I know she hates me I read it in her eyes last night. She was frightened and instead of me holding her (like a father should) and comforting her; I made that fear stronger.

Jasmine I’m not going to ask you to forgive me because I couldn’t even forgive myself. It hurts me so much to leave ya but it hurts me more to think of the pain I’ve caused my little girl. How can I look at her in the eyes again? How can I expect her to act after the fact? How can I look at you when you get home and pretend nothing happened?

I may now be burning in hell because I know God have no place for me in heaven. Jasmine please don’t forget to tell Kimberly I am so sorry.

Yours Truly
Your Husband
John G. Washington
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